My "Self"

The anecdote written at the beginning of Chapter Two was something I experienced today with one of my former co-workers, Jon. He works at the New Student Orientation office, and one of his many duties is to answer the telephone and assist the person on the other line with whatever questions or doubts they might have about enrolling at ASU. Our conversation was light and giddy, as we were discussing the upcoming premiere of the new season of “Glee” which we have been eagerly anticipating all summer. In the middle of one of our laughing fits, the phone rang, and it didn’t take Jon more than two seconds to stand up straight and tall and change the tone of his voice to have a more professional quality.

I don’t believe that we can ever truly know each other if we have never met at least once in person. In the scenario above with Jon, the person speaking to him on the phone might have an idea of who he is because of the way he answered the phone, but if that person ever MET him, s/he might be surprised to find that his voice sounds exceptionally different in person than it does through the telephone. In addition, we can develop our own voice and style by the way we write in our blogs, but it’s one thing to imagine a person’s voice as you read about him/her and another thing entirely to actually HEAR them speak. When I meet someone for the first time, I am generally timid and soft-spoken. However, when I am writing, I like to use exclamation marks and emoticons to better express myself. To some I might come across as extroverted, when in reality, I am usually shy around those I have just met.

In “The Presentation of Self,” Erving Goffman had this to say: “The expressiveness of the individual (and therefore his capacity to give impressions) appears to involve two radically different kinds of sign activity: the expression that he gives, and the expression that he gives off” (Goffman 43). To be able to know someone, it is just as important to be aware of the verbal cues (expression one gives) as it is to be aware of the nonverbal cues (expression one gives off). I could be talking to any one of you face to face, and although your voice might be calm and steady, by paying attention to your wandering eyes and crossed arms, I might be able to guess that something is bothering you.

This doesn’t mean that I believe after sixteen weeks of commenting on each other’s blog posts and revising/ editing each other’s papers that we are complete strangers. I just think that to really know each other, our relationships have to be more than virtual ones.