Deirdre: You’re post “Want a Fun Day? Simply pay $4.75 via E-Z Pass” was great! You definitely incorporated the dark humor that Michael Petracca used in his essay and it really set the tone for what you wrote. When I first started reading, I was a bit confused with your explanation of the bridge but I thought it was very clever of you to switch back and forth between stories and tie them all in together. It reminded me of the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button when Benjamin is relating a series of events and how each one together led to Daisy getting hit by a taxi cab and ending her dancing career. It just made me think that if your dad might’ve been in a different lane or had maybe left for work earlier, he never would’ve gotten into an accident. I know it’s just a typo but your title says “wany” instead of “want.” Just letting you know in case you missed it :)
“Music: All About the Money Maker” made me think of the movie Mean Girls (I’m sorry for all of the movie analogies!) because although the movie was intended to over exaggerate the stereotype that girls call each other “sluts” and “whores,” there is a lot of truth in that exaggeration. I agree with you that a large part of this name calling becoming socially acceptable is because of the music industry. Your last paragraph was very strong and if you elaborate more, this post definitely has potential to become an essay. Apart from a few grammatical errors, I really enjoyed reading your posts and I look forward to working with you this unit!
Lauren: For your post, “Custom Made Furniture,” I liked the humor you were able to integrate at the end of your story even though almost getting your thumb completely chopped off is no laughing matter! I also liked the explanation you gave about how your uncle had many years of experience making furniture because it made a nice twist to your story. You would think that after using appliances such as his Craftsman table saw for so long, his chances of having an accident would be minimized. I also liked that you didn’t just say that it was a table saw but included the brand. It was reminiscent of Petraccas’ essay. Great job!
In “Parental Advisory,” you seem to be very knowledgeable of hip-hop and how it relates to different cultures, particularly in your opening paragraph. I could tell that you are passionate about this topic and have definitely done your research. Although it saddening that music lovers pay big money to buy albums full of vulgarity and sexually explicit lyrics, unfortunately, that is what our world has come to. I know it’s only your second post but I can certainly see you developing these ideas into an essay! You know a lot about hip-hop and I think you would enjoy writing about something you care a lot about! My only suggestion is to re-read what you write before you post it because I noticed a few grammatical errors. Other than that, keep up the great writing!
Susan: First off, let me just say that I’m exciting to be in your group again! I really enjoyed your writing last unit and I look forward to seeing your writing develop! I loved your post “Free Upgrade.” You used a lot of great literary techniques! The sarcasm for one was excellent. There was also a lot of colorful language and alliteration (Blackberry bliss, sloppy seconds) that enhanced your story. I could truly relate to your experience because I also have T-Mobile and upgrading my phone was no simple matter. I am also the youngest of six children so I know all about hand-me-downs and being picked last. And of course, sales people always get you with those extras! Great job making this story relatable to a big group of people!
I completely agree with your post “Move Over Miley.” I find it amazing that music sung by the Beatles, the Shangri La’s, and Elvis can still be found on radio stations despite how long ago they were recorded. I highly doubt that the music that has come out of our generation will stand the test of time. There is hardly any substance to what is being sung about nowadays. You made a very excellent point that music sung by tweens is crossing over to the adult radio stations and vice versa. The other day while picking up my nieces and nephews from school, we tuned in to Radio Disney and the Black Eyes Peas were playing. I don’t think their music is always appropriate for younger audiences and I’d like to see the barrier between the adult and kid radio stations become clearer.
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